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Post by TonberryKing on Feb 26, 2018 14:31:20 GMT
Everybody here knows just how assholish my inlaws can be we discussed it multiple times, but my wife and I are struggling a quite a a bit with some issues. We've heavily considered bringing a kid into this world... However one of our biggest fears is her mom and dad freaking out amd suddenly wanting to be apart of our lives for the kids sake. We are afraid tjat id they ever found out they would go above and beyond to make us out to look like unfit parents and try to claim custody. There is also a fear that they will try to accuse me of abusing my child since they have already accused me of doing it to my wife it would not be new. I dont know what we should do. Ive thought about talking with a consouler but they really won't have a clue hkw bad the situation can get because they dont directly deal with them. Sigh... F**k my life
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Post by endorbr on Feb 26, 2018 14:39:48 GMT
Don't let those people put any of your life on hold. If they continue to harass and interfere just do what we talked about in the past and document. Keep emails, screen shots, text messages, Facebook posts... document dates of those police welfare checks... and when they finally cross a line you can file for a restraining order. You've got enough BS to worry about if you're truly considering having a kid, least of which is what your inlaws will think.
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Post by Uesugi-dono on Feb 26, 2018 15:21:33 GMT
Everybody here knows just how assholish my inlaws can be we discussed it multiple times, but my wife and I are struggling a quite a a bit with some issues. We've heavily considered bringing a kid into this world... However one of our biggest fears is her mom and dad freaking out amd suddenly wanting to be apart of our lives for the kids sake. We are afraid tjat id they ever found out they would go above and beyond to make us out to look like unfit parents and try to claim custody. There is also a fear that they will try to accuse me of abusing my child since they have already accused me of doing it to my wife it would not be new. I dont know what we should do. Ive thought about talking with a consouler but they really won't have a clue hkw bad the situation can get because they dont directly deal with them. Sigh... F**k my life Don't let that stop you. Look; there are already police reports on file about them harassing you, right? Multiple welfare checks where nothing was found. That right there casts any report they may make in a very bad light. You need to talk to a lawyer and get a restraining order. That would put a kibosh on this shit. But on the other hand, becoming grandparents might mellow them out a bit. There's nothing that says "this man is a part of my life whether you like it or not like reproducing. My advice: Call a lawyer and talk about an RO/no contact order. Then have that baby. You cannot live your life in fear of those assholes. |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2018 15:28:48 GMT
Having a child, starting a family, is the most wonderful thing. And you guys will be great parents.
That said, I come from a place where it's important to have a supportive family. A child needs that more than anything. A strong network thread of parents,
parents OF parents, relatives---everybody needs to play a part.
That ALSO being said, the volatile nature of your inlaws would serve to disrupt and destroy the life that you and your wife absolutely deserve. If those
people are unwilling to change, even if you're planning on starting a family, it is best that you keep as far away from them as possible. I know we've said
that many many times before, and dealing with them alone is bad enough, but if you have a child, it's a whole lot worse. Believe me, you guys do not
deserve this abuse, and your kid sure as hell doesn't deserve it either.
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Post by Uesugi-dono on Feb 26, 2018 15:33:38 GMT
Look at it this way, brother: my wife and I have 4 children and NO support network. Her mom? In Japan. My father? Can't babysit. My mother? In Texas. We did it all just the two of us. You can too.
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Post by TonberryKing on Feb 26, 2018 23:44:25 GMT
Thanks for the support guys i feel.much better than i did this morning. We may go talk to a consouler amd see who she suggests for a lawyer.
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Post by TidusandYuna1983 on Feb 27, 2018 1:22:57 GMT
Lots of good points mentioned by others. Don't let your inlaws put your life on hold,that's what they want, they want you to fear them. It will be hard for them to get custody of a child you and your wife have, they will need to prove there's been abuse and neglect, and I doubt they'd be able to do that. Especially since you and your wife will be the biological parents. Maybe you can talk to a lawyer and see if you can get a restraining order, it won't stop her parents asking the police to do checkups, but if you have a restraining order against them and can prove harassment from her parents and they've gone out of their way to make you and your wife's lives hell, it won't look good in the eyes of any judge if they do claim custody of the child, in fact it will make them look unfit.
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