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Post by Uesugi-dono on Aug 8, 2019 9:00:37 GMT
 I was indebted to Miller Peshet, after all Theresa said I had been out for two weeks with my injuries and, unlike most refugees from Skalitz, I was fortunate enough to have somewhere to go besides the streets of Rattay. So when he asked me to commit the unseemly, indeed ungodly, task of digging up the body of an executed man to recover a ring I accepted, albeit reluctantly. How far I'd fallen in such a short time; the son of a skilled blacksmith... reduced to a graverobber.
In the end I didn't dig up the grave, I instead reasoned with the executioner. Like all in his trade he lived near the execution site and he buried the bodies of the condemned all around the hill where the gallows sat in unmarked graves. I told the executioner that the condemned man had children who would benefit from the ring their father wore. He extorted from me 20 groschen for the simple copper band, itself not worth a penny, but it seemed important to Miller Peshet.
When I returned with it he bade me deliver it to Miller Woyzeck in Kohelnitz. I didn't even know where that was, except to say far north on the road to Talmberg. But one of Lady Stephanie's agents had found me on the road back to the mill, informing me that she was asking after me. The lady was nice to me during my stay in Talmberg castle so I resolved to visit her; a trip to Kohelnitz would be on the way. I decided to rise before dawn and set out.
Much of my travel was on the road, and I spent a copious amount of time picking St. John's Wort and Poppies along the way; both ingredients in Savior Schnapps I'm told. "Can't hurt to have plenty of that," I thought, plus what's a poor son of a blacksmith to do for money? I can sell herbs at least. I also hopped a garden fence when my stomach rumbled. There was a coop and surely the farmer wouldn't miss a few eggs.
When I finally reached Miller Woyzeck he casually discarded the ring, calling it worthless and just a test the millers had given me to see if nasty things like 'scruples' would prevent me from doing work for them. He tasked me to go to Talmberg; there lived a guard who had wronged him. He wanted revenge. I was to steal five waffenrocks (tabards) from the armory. This guard was in charge of them and if they went missing he would receive a lashing. Lord, what have I gotten myself in to? But I set off anyway since I was already bound to see Lady Stephanie.
I struck out overland for most of the long journey to Talmberg, crossing through thick forests. I was now carrying a massive amount of herbs, enough to prevent from from a pace quicker than walking, and clambering through the forest meant slow-going anyway. Luckily I happened upon the wreck of a wagon that went careening off the road and found a chest in the wreckage which included beer, mead, and wine! Good fortune!
A little drunk I stumbled on, full but not overfull. A lunch of beer! Not bad for one such as me. I made it to Talmberg that afternoon and found a trader who gave me fourteen and a half groschen for my load of herbs, though not without haggling. So I'm still short after the executioner's extortion, but Lady Stephanie sought me out because she trusts me to collect three items for her cousin's wedding, a roan, an ornamental crown, and some fine wine. She would surely pay well, even giving me one hundred twenty-five groschen to pay for the wine! I decide that Miller Woyzeck's unsavory task can wait, after all the wedding is soon, so I set off immediately for Uzhitz. Having the roan first will mean faster travel, and all three of these items are in three different cities. Plus the horse can carry far more herbs than I. Maybe I can finally get my money back.
In real terms I spent the afternoon with a walking simulator. I walked and walked and then I walked some more! Talk about realism; I wasn't accosted by any bandits, found no wolves, and the most excitement I had was finding the wreck and the booze! The game is real enough that I must get the items for the lady in a timely manner because the wedding will happen whether or not I return in time. Unlike other game quests I have no timer, just the knowledge that I need to get this done without getting distracted by other quests.
Kingdom Come is really my kind of game; an escape into a realistic depiction of life in the middle ages. At this stage Henry, our hero, is a refugee after his home of Skalitz was attacked. He's a layabout with no real skills, preferring to fuck off with his friends and drink instead of work. But now, suddenly, I need skills. Henry sucks at fighting, he sucks at stealth, he sucks at picking pockets, and he MEGA SUCKS at picking locks. (The hardest mini-game in the history of gaming, I swear.) I really can't do anything (and in order to correct that I must try everything. You gain XP by doing, not spending points. Teachers can teach you techniques but you can only perform them if your level in the skill is high enough) so imagine my joy when my herbalism stat rises from just me picking flowers! Making Savior Schnapps isn't just a good way to create my own game saves (You need the schnapps to save the game manually, otherwise it just happens at certain story points or when you sleep) but the alcohol sells for a pretty penny! Of course, I need someone to teach me how to brew it first...
This game will be a massive time sink for me but I want to be better at it. It's really rather unique and, so far, I am really enjoying it. I had a very nice, relaxing time walking through the pastoral hills and forests of Bohemia. The game is beautiful. Even though Henry doesn't jog or run everywhere, like other games, and I don't yet have a horse I actually had a good time just walking the five or six literal miles from Rattay to Talmberg. In-game I left at 5 am and I got to the castle about 3 pm, but I did stop to pick several bushels of herbs. (irl I spent about 2 hours playing.)
I'll put more adventures here as they unfold but, for now, this game is more than worth the 20 bucks I gave for it.
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Post by Uesugi-dono on Aug 11, 2019 9:48:01 GMT
Well, the hook is set.
Yesterday I got up at 9:30 am. I signed on, checked to see if I had any Wildlands teammates playing (I did not) and then I dove into that damn Silent Spade mission solo. I had to turn Tier Mode off and lower difficulty to average but, using Solanna 's suggestion of spawning APCs to block the road I managed to FINALLY beat that mission. (I forgot to turn it back on before the end of the mission, Sol. Doofus that I am.) Yay, optic camouflage! That will be a boon in Tier mode.
Next up I jumped into For Honor for my dailies. As predicted that motherfucking Vanguard order was there. I skipped that, Allied, and the assassin order in favor of getting my hammer-welding hero to Rep 1. He's still crazy fun to play, but I'm also still over For Honor. (I've also started culling a TON of FH-related friends who I never played with.)
Then I got on to the main course. It was probably 11:00ish... I stayed with it until 5:30.
Lady Stephanie of Talmberg. She was kind to me when I sheltered there after the raid on Skalitz, so when I got word in Rattay, far to the south, I set off immediately to assist her. Lady Stephanie was a young girl of just 18 when she was wed to Sir Divish, a man old enough to be her father. (Possibly even grandfather.) Shortly after they were wed Sir Divish was captured and imprisoned by a rival lord and it took Lady Stephanie 7 years to raise the money for his ransom. By the time he returned home he was old and frail and, despite numerous attempts over the last 5 years, the couple still do not have a child and have grown somewhat... distant. They are a proper christian noble couple, mind you. Still affable with one another, and I see them together in chapel often but they keep separate rooms now.
Lady Stephanie beckoned and bade me retrieve 3 items for her cousin's wedding; a roan stallion, an engraved crown, and a cask of the finest wine in the region. All 3 were in different locations, of course. Well I set off first to get the roan; after all I was just a poor commoner with no horse and barely 20 groschen to rub together. By acquiring the horse I could greatly accelerate the time in which I acquired these items. But, in true video game fashion, there was a hitch with each one of these items.
This horse is an asshole.
First of all he has no saddlebags, the fucker, so I was forced to sell a ton of herbs to the stable master at bargain-basement prices. But second, he's a goddamn asshole that won't let me ride him! Kept throwing me. I went back to the stable master who pointed me to a guy in town who was the only person who could ride this animal. I had to beg the secret out of him, well begging didn't work, so I invoked Lady Stephanie's name. That changed his tune! Seems I'm not the only one who thinks highly of her. But, the end results was every single time I get on this asshole I have to sing to him. As a player, that means I have to hear the same audio-bullshit every time I mount him.
So I head to the next city to collect the engraved crown and, of course, there's a problem. The crown's centerpiece was supposed to be a beautiful moldavite stone from Germany. But the merchant who was delivering it vanished, without a trace they say. The engraver leaves it to me whether he should install a lesser stone or I go look for it so, naturally, I go look for it and, naturally, I find this:
What a crazy, random happenstance! Who would have thought that this would happen? Certainly not every video game player on planet Earth! Well, fear not, decades of gaming have prepared me for this moment. I waltz on down into the woods and discover not only the body of the merchant, but his slayers too. Turns out, they would become my slayers as well. Heavily armored, armed to the teeth. Much more than a simple peasant with a hand axe could handle. So I tried stealth. Wait, have I mentioned that Henry sucks at everything? Cause he does. After several reloads I decide the best course of action is to wait until these fuckers are asleep.
Midnight. I creep down and search the merchant's body. No stone. So I try to pick the pocket of the sleeping brigands. Now, mind you, they took off all their armor and weapons before beddy-bye time. Hooray! What could possibly go wrong? Well, Henry sucks at picking pockets. I was caught almost immediately. No worries, right? I have an axe! They have no armor and fists! So what happens?
They beat me to fucking death.
Combat is hard in Kingdom Come. Similar to For Honor, you have a light and heavy attack and five areas to attack from. (Instead of FH's 3.) You'd think that I'd be better at this, oh! But wait! There's a guy in Rattay who can train me. In the first few lessons he unlocks many of the crucial maneuvers that I need. Techniques like blocking, guard breaking, counter guard breaking. I have none of those. Frustrated I debate just going back to Rattay to learn, but I opt to try this one last time. This time I sneak into camp and go straight for them. I have an option to knock them out. Henry covers one's mouth and chokes that bitch out. Then I do it again to the next guy! Just to be safe I STOMP their skulls out while they are out cold, killing them. Now, Henry has killed before. Back in Skalitz I used Sir Radzig's sword to kill a looter. But this is the first time Henry has straight up murdered someone. I search them. No stone. There's a chest. It's locked. I don't have a lockpick. Fuck.
(I do not have that perk.)
After a bit of travel I return with a lockpick and manage to successfully get this open. This is a major accomplishment, y'all. Lockpicking in KC is the hardest mini-game I have ever encountered. Like completing Ghosts n' Goblins hard. And Henry SUCKS at it, which makes it damn-near impossible. Add to that lockpicks retail for about 14-20 groschen apiece and every failed attempt breaks a pick. I open my prize and holy shit... I'm rich.
Every piece of armor and weapons these two had are inside the chest. Near 200 pounds of gear and loot worth hundreds of groschen. The stone too. I am not leaving any of this behind. But hey, that asshole horse doesn't have saddlebags! And I can't mount him encumbered either! And I can't fast travel encumbered either. Shit. Shit, shit, shit! So I either walk something like FIVE ACTUAL MILES at a snail's pace or I make multiple trips. I opt for the latter, praying that the corpse of the merchant will not disappear while I am gone. I move his body up to the road and I load him up with everything I cannot carry. I then set off on the first of something like ten actual trips to offload this loot. I encounter a complication: by putting all this shit in the merchant's inventory I inadvertently make it his so when I return to get my stuff it is now marked as stolen. Fuck, this means I now have to travel even farther to get to one of the miller/fences to sell my now-stolen goods. (Good news: after a few days the stolen tag goes away on its own.) Eventually I get 'er done, though, and I retrieve the crown too, complete with resplendent moldavite. Time to get the wine.
Wouldn't you know that dirty fucker already sold it? Now I have to win an archery competition?? Henry can't shoot straight at all!! I know because he couldn't hit a rabbit from 4 feet away! I wasted a ton of arrows! So I decide to cheat a little. I get on my horse and try to park it so close to the other competitor that he can't draw his bow. Ain't I a stinker?
Doesn't work though. As soon as I mount the horse I 'abandon' the tournament. So I lose. I track down the winner, hoping that I can tail him back to his house. My plan is simple; wait til nightfall and then rob this sumbitch blind. But I try talking to him first. I try to be smooth: "Don't you prefer beer to wine?" I've got nearly 400 groschen now, I can just buy this dude a few kegs of beer in exchange. Too bad he wants to taste this extraordinary wine. I can't blame him; he's a commoner. How often would he even be allowed to buy this, let alone afford it. So I try a different tact; recalling my success with the roan I drop Lady Stephanie's name.
Man, this woman gets around! Wouldn't you know it, he loves Lady Stephanie. He loves her so much he gives me the wine, all just for me to mention his name when I give it to her. Sure thing, pal! I'll do that. (I didn't.) Now, finally having all the requisite items, I head back to Talmberg.
I should mention that this quest has taken me 3 long days in-game and Henry has had very little sleep. He's tired, he's hungry, and at this point I feel like he's a me simulator: exhausted, unskilled, and bending over backwards for a woman.
So I make it back to Lady Stephanie, deliver all the items, and play it off real cool. "No, no problem. I don't even know the meaning of the word!" She rewards me with a shirt that belonged to her father. It's far too nice for me, I tell her. Nonsense, says she. "Go ahead and change into it, I won't look." I have the option to leave and change or just strip. Well, you know me. I change right there. She compliments me, how it suits me, and then she gets to talking about how sad her situation is; she wants children so badly but her husband can't have any, so she's never going to have any. Then this happens...
Yeah baby! I am a dead man if Sir Divish ever finds out! I bang her right there, in her room in the middle of the fucking day. I am a filthy commoner! She's a noblewoman! I am rewarded for this tryst with this buff:
Hell fucking yeah.
I love this game.
I should mention that I left Talmberg without completing the other mission I was given by Miller Woyzeck; the one to steal 5 waffenrocks? The chest they are located in is rated Hard and, at my pathetic skill level, I am not even allowed to attempt it. So I steal a few hundred groschen-worth of weapons and head towards Rattay. I am encumbered too, so a 5 mile hike at a snail's pace since I no longer have a horse. Hooray. I stumble across a body and a suspect who pays me 25 groschen not to turn him in. I loot the corpse and then mug the suspect, taking everything... even his clothes. I walk all night, about to drop from exhaustion, but hey... I'm an alpha male who bangs nobles. Hehe, I got this.
All in all I came out of this with good armor, great weapons, fine clothes, and nearly 700 groschen. Not bad for an afternoon's session.
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Post by Uesugi-dono on Aug 12, 2019 15:00:51 GMT
For today's entry I had intended to include a video to showcase the high-quality cinematic cut scenes, but I had an error and lost it.
I entered Sir Radzig's service formally and unlocked the ability to train with Captain Bernard. This means I unlocked several critical abilities. Captain Bernard is one of the best swordsmen in the entire game, so I felt.. inadequate, training with him. But when Sir Hans Capon, soon-to-be Lord of Rattay showed up, with all of his noble swagger and challenged me to an archery contest, Henry ran his mouth off.
Sir Hans is a dickhead. He flaunts his noble status above pretty much every commoner he meets. Medieval Donald Jr, if you will. Captain Bernard tried to scold him for doing this again but he challenged me anyway and I didn't even get a chance to back down. You see, Sir Hans accused me of being a coward and fleeing Skalitz, when in truth I had been charged with riding to warn Talmberg of King Sigismund's approach. I took an arrow to the leg for my trouble too! So Fuck Sir Hans... the only problem was Henry can't hit the side of a barn. I had just proved this point, Captain Bernard vocally remarking that he had never seen anybody as bad with a bow as me, when Hans issued his challenge.
By some incredible instance of good luck I actually managed to score 11 points vs Hans' 5! Even without the bonus 3 points for finishing first (which I did by tenths of a second) I had managed to score 8! God, Hans, you suck!
But Hans, the dick, challenged me to a sword fight. Not with training swords, mind you, but with real blades. Bernard tried to make as excuse for me but Hans wasn't having it. And, foolishly, neither was Henry. I was going to die.
Kingdom Come has taught me that 1st Person For Honor would be a lot more terrifying. I am nervous as shit in these first-person duels... and this is coming from someone who actually did this in real life! I spent most of the match backpedaling, and for most of the fight Hans was kicking my ass! I was getting bloodied bad, but then I managed to pull off some successful feints, and then some more. I even managed a few perfect defenses but I failed at the riposte. I wondered what would happen when he eventually beat me; after all I had never won any fights in KC. Even the fistfight early on in Skalitz saw my ass handed to me... badly.
So imagine my surprise when I, very near death, pulled off back-to-back feints and counter-strikes and Hans yielded. I had just won my first fight! It was exhilarating. And the best part was I could now train with Captain Bernard whenever I wished! He sent me to sign up for the city watch; the city's regent needed help managing all the refugees from Skalitz and he felt that having one of their own on the watch would help. Sir Radzig assured him that I would help, so now my burgeoning thief career is put on hold while I do honest shit.
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Post by endorbr on Aug 12, 2019 15:36:38 GMT
Banging the local noblewoman AND besting the local noble dickhead in both archery (at which you suck) and a sword duel (at which you also suck). You really must be riding on that ALPHA MALE high.  |
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Post by Uesugi-dono on Aug 12, 2019 15:48:32 GMT
Banging the local noblewoman AND besting the local noble dickhead in both archery (at which you suck) and a sword duel (at which you also suck). You really must be riding on that ALPHA MALE high. Henry out here cucking fools left and right, up and down. |
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Post by Uesugi-dono on Aug 13, 2019 15:08:19 GMT
After meeting the bailiff and presenting myself for duty I am sent to the armory to get kitted out for guard duty. Rattay has a lot of Skalitz refugees and, with no job, money, or accommodations, they either beg or steal for a living. Lord Hanush feels that having a 'local' on patrol will help ease tensions and Sir Radzig, in gratitude, happily volunteered me for the job. I am issued a gambeson (quilted armor) a helm and a club. (I was told I shouldn't need more to deal with the populace.)
I am sent to meet with an older guard who goes by the single name Nightingale. Not overly manly, but whatever... at least he uses correct pronouns. This man is suited in full chain! Anyway he tells me that I am to handle any disputes we run across and he is simply here to evaluate. Okay, fine. Let's go.
My first incident involves the local armor-smith and Jane, a refugee from Skalitz. I can't remember if I'd met Jane in Skalitz which, honestly, seems like such an idyllic past now. Henry opened the game by sleeping til late afternoon after drinking all night with his friends Fritz and Matthew and then hanging out with the ne'er-do-wells when he was supposed to be doing chores. After getting beaten rather badly by a man who owed money to my father (I'd been sent to collect) I enlisted Fritz and Matthew's aid in beating his ass by helping them throw horse shit at a German's freshly white-washed house. Ah, good times! Anyway, I digress...
The smith is mad because she's begging in front of his shop. He had given her alms the day before and now she was back and refused to move. After a brief discussion I found both to be rather immobile in their opinions; the smith felt like giving her any money just encouraged her to stay and she was basically selling her absence. In order to resolve the situation, and in a moment of compassion for one of my own, I gave her a groschen and she departed. The smith was pissed but I figured if she was back here the next time I was on shift I'd be a lot more harsh on her.
We moved on, the majority of this mission serving as a guided tour by Nightingale as he showed me where everything was and talked a little about the history of Rattay and castle Pirkstein, as well as how Sir Hanush, a distant relative of the deceased Lord Jan Ješek (a real person. Most of the characters in this game are either real or are based on real historical figures!) His son, Sir Hans Capon (based on Jan Ptáček,) who I bested at archery and swordplay was the rightful heir and Sir Hanush was acting as regent until he came of age. It seems that dashing young Hans is but 15 years old! This brings me to a brief diversion:
How old is Henry?
I recall a point in the game where it is mentioned that Henry and Theresa are 18 years old. Odd, I thought when I heard it. The game is set in 1403. At 18 Henry should be a full grown man with a trade and a wife, yet we open the game with him running errands for his blacksmith father and goofing off every night, drinking with his friends, like a modern college student in his 20s. So I did a little digging. It seems the game literature is purposely vague. Why? Because if they openly admitted Henry's true age, a contemporary of Sir Hans between 15-17 years old, then this game would depict minors drinking and fornicating and stealing and killing. You know, realistic stuff in a game mostly about realism. So the game obfuscates this information to avoid censorship but, real talk here: Henry's 15 or 16 years old.
Suddenly his ineptitude makes a LOT more sense.
We move on and we encounter another beggar, this one close to Rattay castle (the city boasts two; Rattay and Pirkstein) and I am prepared to deal with this but, a real-life diversion, my wife is talking at me about something so I linger in-game so I can figure out what she is saying. (Ladies; multi-tasking is a myth. I cannot understand YOU and what I'm TRYING to hear at the same time. I have to pick ONE or I understand NEITHER.) Before I can recover Nightingale lays into this guy about his begging, dressing him down fiercely and driving him away. Was I supposed to do that? Did I miss an opportunity?
We move ahead to the castle gate where a lone guard stands. Nightingale demands to know where his partner is but the guard just shrugs. "Would you rather the bailiff handle this or me?" he demands and, finally, the guard relents: his partner went for a drink in the tavern.
We head to the tavern and Nightingale again lets this poor fool have it. He rushes back to duty and now we sit in the tavern to have a drink and play dice, Farkle to be exact. Now I'd never played farkle before playing this game but the rules are simple and I'm fond of it. I spent quite a bit of time in Skalitz playing and got quite good at it, winning a tidy sum. Nightingale, however, whips my ass at it. Hypocritically, we spent the rest of our shift drinking and playing dice.
One of the laws in Skalitz is that the taverns close at night. So I am sent to ring the bell three times, signalling closing time, and then head back to the tavern to make sure everyone leaves. I dash off to comply but when I get back there's still merry-makers drinking. I step up to do my duty when I notice who it is...
Sir Hans and three of his mates.
Well, the law's the law right? Sir Hans isn't the lord yet.
Yeah, I beat his ass again, this time with fists. Too bad for both of us that Lord Hanush picks that very moment to show up! He dresses down Hans for acting like, well a peasant, and me for daring to raise a hand against a noble. I try to explain what my duty was and I am promptly reminded that I am just a peasant and I could be killed for what I've done. Lord Hanush commands Hans to attend in the morning to court, to learn how to deal with the issues of ruling his people, but Hans complains: he was planning to go hunting and doesn't care to listen to peasants complain about who stole whose chicken, who placed a spell on whose cow, or who shit in whose yard. This angers Lord Hanush so he decides on a punishment that will apply to both of us:
Greeeeaaaaat. I am told to meet my lord at Rattay castle at dawn... 5 short hours from now. I have a longass walk back to Miller Peshek's place.
I decide to dress more the part; opting for my newly acquired brigantine mail over the padded gambeson I was issued. I also take a mail coif, my black shield, and a brown waffenrock that I don't mind if it tears more. I sprint back up the hill (why castles gotta be on hills??) through the town, and finally to the castle where I see Sir Hans waiting impatiently. "Don't you have a horse?" he demands. "Where would one such as I get a horse?" I reply, humbly. I decide my best course of action, considering my behavior last night, is to know my place. "Ah, right," Hans relents with a shit-eating grin, "I suppose the only horse you've known would pull a plow, eh?" Jackass. "I suppose you'll have to run alongside me, like a good dog." Grrrrrr. "Don't you have one I can borrow?" I ask. No such luck. Moment of truth, what do I do?
I trot along, like a good dog. Sir Hans surprises me though; he apologizes for the night before. Then he asks me about Skalitz. Henry does not want to talk about it. So he suggests we continue the conversation with alcohol at camp. It is a LONG walk to the hunting camp. So long the game goes into fast travel. A word about fast travel, it is literally that. Not the instantaneous teleport of other games, instead you watch a token representing your position move across the game map. It's neat, but for long trips it still feels like it takes a long time as you watch the token slowly move. The game will also interrupt fast travel for roadside events and give you a window of time to respond if you wish to stop and investigate.
We make it to camp and I get it set up, fetching bacon and wine for my lord like a good servant. When it comes time to give it to him I choose to give him my fine wine from my inventory and keep the cheaper stuff for myself. He doesn't notice. We both drink a little and I eat from the stew pot. He asks again about Skalitz and I choose to tell him the story of losing my parents and my love before my very eyes. He asks if there was nothing I could do and I tell him no, that my father died valiantly to give me a chance to escape and warn Talmberg. He accepts that, this man who had once branded me a coward for running away. He reveals that my attitude when I'd first reported to Sir Radzig was the reason why he's shown me scorn, he found my response to Captain Bernard disrespectful. Hmm, seems this little hunting trip was working out well. Maybe there's hope for Sir Hans after all.
In the morning he challenged me to a hare hunt; we went off in different directions with the intent to return at noon and whoever bagged more would win. Now a word about archery: it's hard, yo. Your little reticule dot disappears when you equip your bow. When was the last game you played where you shot at something without a reticule? If you can't remember you're not alone, barring games where you can choose to turn it off I don't think it happens, and even then turning it off usually means you suck at hitting targets. Well, the lack of one is one reason why Henry FUCKING SUCKS at archery. I basically just aim at the ground and hope a rabbit wanders into the death zone. Incredibly, however, I did manage to bag 5 before time was up. So I beat Sir Hans again. This time he paid me 100 groschen as a reward!
Now we move on to the real hunt... boar.
I tried to warn him. I did my best; "You don't hunt boar with arrows," I told him, "you hunt boar with spears." Well, he didn't listen. I was fully prepared to jump in front of this boar, wielding only a seax (a type of machete I found in camp) to protect this noble moron, but instead the boar runs... so he chased it... on horseback. Well, now my mission is to find Hans. I dash off in the last direction I saw him but it becomes clear that horses run fast. Eventually I manage to find out what happened to Sir Hans... once I find him tied to a pole, bloodied and beaten, and a couple of heavily armed Cuman mercenaries nearby.
The Cumans were a nomadic Turkish people who came into Europe with the Mongol invasion and who settled in Hungary, you know... where King Sigismund lives. He'd used them after he'd kidnapped his brother, Holy Roman Emperor Wenceslas IV, to consolidate power in Bohemia. It was Cumans who murdered my village, so needless to say I had a score to settle. I captured the clumsy-ass encounter in the following video, along with the final cinematic for this mission. Fair to say I'm pleased with myself. Henry's moving up in the world.
And interesting point about that clumsy, long combat. Did you notice how both of those enemies bled out?
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Post by endorbr on Aug 13, 2019 16:46:25 GMT
You are doing a good job of taking a game that sounds somewhat frustrating and difficult to an annoying degree at times and still making me interested in playing it.
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Post by Uesugi-dono on Aug 13, 2019 17:06:59 GMT
You are doing a good job of taking a game that sounds somewhat frustrating and difficult to an annoying degree at times and still making me interested in playing it. Everything you said is fair. The barrier to new players is high, but so are the rewards, I've found. |
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Post by Uesugi-dono on Aug 15, 2019 14:02:42 GMT
The scene was pretty horrific by the time we arrived. The Neuhof stables were strewn with equine and human corpses. I was attached to Captain Bernard's detachment to investigate the attack on the stables. Rumors were Sir Markvart, the gigantic German who led the Cuman attack on Skalitz and personally cut down my father, was there. For that reason I volunteered and Sir Radzig, my lord, allowed me to go. Lord Hanush had even given me a horse, a dappled roan stallion named Pebbles, as reward for saving Sir Hans.
The bandits had attacked just before dawn. Instead of stealing horses, they hamstrung each one and then slaughtered every person who tried to stop them. The stablemaster's wife had been the one to mercifully put down the wounded horses. We find her over the body of her husband. What had they come for? Why mutilate the horses instead of steal them? Whey did they leave empty handed? How was the German involved? Questions... questions that need answers. But the people are angry; where were the guards when they needed them? Now they want to ask questions? Now that the sun is high in the sky?
This is when my value to the party is realized. As a peasant I am one of them. I am clearly not a soldier. A man named Jakob speaks to me and tells me that the stable boy, Ginger, was the first on scene. Maybe he saw something. I track down Ginger but he is being VERY cagey, it seems he doesn't know and hasn't seen anything.
I know this bastard knows something. In an effort to prove it I manage to pick the locks on every chest in the stable where he sleeps; nothing. Then I pick his pockets. I find a key but I have no clue what it goes to. (Maybe one of the now-unlocked chests?) Still nothing, but I know he's involved somehow. Did he help them gain access? What went wrong? I search some more and find a fence that is torn down; horses charged through here. The bandits' horses? I follow the trail into the woods.
In the woods I find a dead bandit. He has a bloodied hoof pick on him. Odd. He has a dagger and a sword... why use a hoof pick? Then I find a dying bandit. He complains about all he's done in his life only to be stabbed by a filthy peasant's dung-covered dagger. (Fun fact: you can unlock a perk where if you refuse to clean your sword, you can add poison damage to your hits due to the filth on the blade.)
I head back to the stables to ask around about the hoof pick only to discover that Ginger, the little bastard, has fled. A guy named Mark confirms the pick is his but he doesn't know where Gingy might have gone so he tells me to ask Jakob. But Jakob, as a condition of telling me where Ginger is likely to have fled, makes me promise to at least hear him out. I agree, that sounds reasonable, and he tells me that Ginger is tight with the charcoal burners that make camp up and down the river. Well, night is falling and I want to get this done, so I set off... and in my rush I forget to tell Captain Bernard where I'm going. (This will haunt me later.)
This began a big runaround quest... all night I rode to the first camp only to be told the princess was in another castle. So I head to the next one, nope... not here. Finally, in the third camp, I meet a man who wants to know what it's worth to me. When he demands 60 groschen though I laugh at him. I had already heard, in the 2nd camp, about these twins who were friends with him. So I find and approach one. He plays dumb but I tell him I already know he's hiding in the woods and that he brings food to him. When he asks how I TOTALLY point to the other guy, whereas the twin approaches him and beats the shit out of him! (Snitches get stitches.) Then he admits that, yes, he knows where Ginger is and he's helping him but a pair of bandits is hunting him and if I want his help then I need to 'deal' with these two.
I find their camp but I only see one guy. No idea where his partner is. Just to make sure I approach and talk to the guy. He immediately asks if I've seen a red-haired guy named Ginger. Yep, this is the guy. I play dumb and then hide in the bushes to wait for night. I fully intend to pull the same trick I did back when I was searching for the moldavite. Once midnight rolls around both of them are asleep in the camp so I slip in and suffocate the first one, but his friend hears me and springs to the attack. Unfortunately for him, I've repaired my brigantine mail and sharpened my sword... he has only his fists. Once they are sufficiently murdalized I take everything they own and pack it on Pebbles for sale later.
Hey, Gingy, remember me? I catch his ass in the middle of the night hiding in a hut in the deepest part of the woods. The twin was happy to sell him out once the bandits were dead. By this point Henry's been up for 24 hours looking for this twat so I want some answers. He tells me he saw them approach whilst taking a midnight piss, but he figured they were just there to steal and he didn't want to get hurt so he hid. Okay, so Why'd you run? Well, he recognized one of the bandits... and that bandit recognized him. One Limpy Lubosh of Uzhitz. "Why'd you kill the bandit?" I ask. He didn't, he swears. He says he had the hoof pick in his hand when he bumped into one of them and that bandit had taken it. He also said there were two groups of bandits; one trying to steal and the other just mutilating. They argued, they fought. That's why one was dead. They all fled after people started coming out.
Okay, so maybe Ginger is just a coward. I cut him some slack and urge him to go back to Neuhof and just explain what happened. I head back myself and get my ass royally chewed by Captain Bernard! I had forgotten to tell him where I was going. He REAMS my ass about how I was HIS responsibility and how would he explain to Sir Radzig if I died while under his watch? He threatens to have me whipped and put in the stocks when we return and I have to wonder... will he actually do it? (I kind of hope he does!)
I report to Sir Radzig, tail between my legs, all that I've learned. He commands me to head to Uzhitz and track down this Limpy character. I do so in the following video:
Gruesome, eh? Need a palate cleanser? The next video is long, but TOTALLY worth it.
How do you make Uesugi a devout Christian? (And yes, Dorbs, drinking is a skill!)
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Post by Uesugi-dono on Oct 5, 2019 13:29:41 GMT
TonberryKing
Brother I hope you're sticking with Kingdom Come. I crossed a milestone yesterday and, man, it's satisfying. So here's my best advice: once you can train with Captain Bernard do NOTHING else. Just stay with Peshek and meet Bernard every morning to train. WEAR ARMOR. Yes, you'll end up having to get some repairs but otherwise he will beat you bloody over and over again, and if you're bleeding you'll keep bleeding so make sure you have bandages or you go see the wenches. Keep training with Bernard until you at least hit level 7 in Sword/axe/mace/whatever and I would say level 10 in Defense and Warfare. This will make your life SO much easier.
Now, lemme tell you about my adventures:
I've been staying with Peshek and Theresa while I let Bernard mold me into a capable fighter. I've been training for the better part of three weeks so far. In the meantime I have also been an incorrigible thief. I've been working for a Skalitz vagabond who's been tasking me with various crimes to benefit the refugees. In addition, I've been stealing for myself. I've managed to accumulate a good collection of weapons and clothing. As a result my lockpicking has improved vastly but my pickpocketing needs work.
But yesterday I did a bad thing.
The vagabond had asked me to pick the pocket of a local noblewoman. Well, like I said, I'm not the best at that so my plan was to wait until midnight, sneak into her house, KO her, and then steal the money. I'd already gotten into her house during the day and managed to steal a TON of stuff, including her keys, so getting in was easy. But the moment I opened the door there was a personal guard in her room! He demanded what was I doing there and I mumbled something about 'wrong house' and left. Naturally, he found this suspicious and followed me. I was hiding around the corner when another guard stopped in front of me to remind me that it is actually illegal to walk around at night without a light... so I lit my torch. The suspicious guard spotted me and headed my way but I ducked down an alley and circled the house, racing up to the lady's room.
Dammit I forgot about my light.
Before I could get it fully doused she started to wake up. I meant to clap a hand over her mouth and KO her via asphyxiation. (Press L2) What I did was hold it too long and stealth kill her. Henry, in a panic, pulled his dagger and plunged it into the lady's heart. The sound was... really realistic. (You guys know my job, right? I've had to hear this very thing on the phone before.) I collected the paltry 50 groschen and beat feet before the guard could make it back.
The result was a lockdown. Guards stepped up random searches and an icon appeared to notify me that the guards were on the lookout for someone fitting my description. (The guard has spotted me in the room, remember?) So I had to lay low for a few days. During that time I kicked about the mill and wooed Theresa. I presented her with the lady's dress I'd stolen during my earlier break-in and I sold a bunch of her stuff to Peshek, who is my fence. Theresa and I went for a nice walk one day and you can see romance starting to bloom. Henry and her grew up together and lived through the Skalitz raid. Henry (me) heard her cry for help as she was being assaulted by the Cumans but I didn't help her. There were 4 of them and I was a nobody son of a blacksmith tasked by my lord with getting to Rattay and alerting people there. Fighting 4 dudes would have been a death sentence. Of course, I didn't tell Theresa that... (my Henry's a right bastard) but I expressed relief that she was able to fight them off and escape.
I continued to hang around the Mill. I made a day trip out and managed to find a hidden treasure that I'd bought a map for so I started socking money away. From my thievery and other activities I already had a nice nest egg of about 2k groschen. By this time there was still a general alert for me in Rattay so I went on another date with Theresa. She wanted to go to the tavern in town (yikes) but, luckily, a cutscene took over and *poof* we were there. We were laughing, and drinking, and just having a good time when a drunk decided that Theresa was far too pretty to be on the arm of a skinny boy like me. Theresa is no slouch; she managed to fight off 4 Cumans and (allegedly) escape unraped, but this guy was pretty big (fat) and he was tugging on her like she was a ragdoll. Time for Henry to defend her honor.
A reminder about combat; it's unnaturally hard. It's supposed to be, Henry had no training at all before the start of the game. However, training with Bernard has made a world of difference. My earlier experiences with hand-to-hand combat were... less than impressive. Kunesh, who owed my father money, beat me like a bad dog. I needed 3 friends to take him down. In training with Bernard he beat the brakes off of me in hand-to-hand. So here I was, defending my woman's honor, against a guy bigger than Kunesh... and I beat the shit out of him! Looks like training has paid off!
It paid off so well that the next day I went and found Kunesh. He was begging in the town square. I threatened him for the money that he still owed and he, considering the last outcome, challenged me. It was SO satisfying leaving him in a broken, bloody heap... begging at my feet. I had managed to turn a corner. Suddenly fighting was not all that intimidating. Later that day I defeated Bernard in a match (axes) and held my own in swordsmanship!
I'm pretty good now. My Strength, Agility, Vitality, Warfare, and Defense are all around level 10 and my Swords sits at 8, with mace, axe, and hand-to-hand all around 6. I can hold my own now, as a fighter, and my stealth is high enough that I can slip into a bandit camp, undetected, and stealth kill the leader without getting caught. I can bring down roe deer and rabbits on the run, even though I could still use a lot of work on that reticule-less aim.
In short, the game is really opening up. Kingdom Come makes you work for it. The game is unforgivingly hard in the beginning, but when you hit the point I'm at the feeling of accomplishment makes it all worthwhile.
Looks like I'm ready for that battle.
Oh, and Theresa and I? I managed to successfully court her and was rewarded with the most graphic sex scene I've ever had in a main stream video game! (this image is severely cropped) We're talking about marriage now!
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Post by kungfubunny9876 on Oct 5, 2019 18:43:21 GMT
TonberryKing
Brother I hope you're sticking with Kingdom Come. I crossed a milestone yesterday and, man, it's satisfying. So here's my best advice: once you can train with Captain Bernard do NOTHING else. Just stay with Peshek and meet Bernard every morning to train. WEAR ARMOR. Yes, you'll end up having to get some repairs but otherwise he will beat you bloody over and over again, and if you're bleeding you'll keep bleeding so make sure you have bandages or you go see the wenches. Keep training with Bernard until you at least hit level 7 in Sword/axe/mace/whatever and I would say level 10 in Defense and Warfare. This will make your life SO much easier.
Now, lemme tell you about my adventures:
I've been staying with Peshek and Theresa while I let Bernard mold me into a capable fighter. I've been training for the better part of three weeks so far. In the meantime I have also been an incorrigible thief. I've been working for a Skalitz vagabond who's been tasking me with various crimes to benefit the refugees. In addition, I've been stealing for myself. I've managed to accumulate a good collection of weapons and clothing. As a result my lockpicking has improved vastly but my pickpocketing needs work.
But yesterday I did a bad thing.
The vagabond had asked me to pick the pocket of a local noblewoman. Well, like I said, I'm not the best at that so my plan was to wait until midnight, sneak into her house, KO her, and then steal the money. I'd already gotten into her house during the day and managed to steal a TON of stuff, including her keys, so getting in was easy. But the moment I opened the door there was a personal guard in her room! He demanded what was I doing there and I mumbled something about 'wrong house' and left. Naturally, he found this suspicious and followed me. I was hiding around the corner when another guard stopped in front of me to remind me that it is actually illegal to walk around at night without a light... so I lit my torch. The suspicious guard spotted me and headed my way but I ducked down an alley and circled the house, racing up to the lady's room.
Dammit I forgot about my light.
Before I could get it fully doused she started to wake up. I meant to clap a hand over her mouth and KO her via asphyxiation. (Press L2) What I did was hold it too long and stealth kill her. Henry, in a panic, pulled his dagger and plunged it into the lady's heart. The sound was... really realistic. (You guys know my job, right? I've had to hear this very thing on the phone before.) I collected the paltry 50 groschen and beat feet before the guard could make it back.
The result was a lockdown. Guards stepped up random searches and an icon appeared to notify me that the guards were on the lookout for someone fitting my description. (The guard has spotted me in the room, remember?) So I had to lay low for a few days. During that time I kicked about the mill and wooed Theresa. I presented her with the lady's dress I'd stolen during my earlier break-in and I sold a bunch of her stuff to Peshek, who is my fence. Theresa and I went for a nice walk one day and you can see romance starting to bloom. Henry and her grew up together and lived through the Skalitz raid. Henry (me) heard her cry for help as she was being assaulted by the Cumans but I didn't help her. There were 4 of them and I was a nobody son of a blacksmith tasked by my lord with getting to Rattay and alerting people there. Fighting 4 dudes would have been a death sentence. Of course, I didn't tell Theresa that... (my Henry's a right bastard) but I expressed relief that she was able to fight them off and escape.
I continued to hang around the Mill. I made a day trip out and managed to find a hidden treasure that I'd bought a map for so I started socking money away. From my thievery and other activities I already had a nice nest egg of about 2k groschen. By this time there was still a general alert for me in Rattay so I went on another date with Theresa. She wanted to go to the tavern in town (yikes) but, luckily, a cutscene took over and *poof* we were there. We were laughing, and drinking, and just having a good time when a drunk decided that Theresa was far too pretty to be on the arm of a skinny boy like me. Theresa is no slouch; she managed to fight off 4 Cumans and (allegedly) escape unraped, but this guy was pretty big (fat) and he was tugging on her like she was a ragdoll. Time for Henry to defend her honor.
A reminder about combat; it's unnaturally hard. It's supposed to be, Henry had no training at all before the start of the game. However, training with Bernard has made a world of difference. My earlier experiences with hand-to-hand combat were... less than impressive. Kunesh, who owed my father money, beat me like a bad dog. I needed 3 friends to take him down. In training with Bernard he beat the brakes off of me in hand-to-hand. So here I was, defending my woman's honor, against a guy bigger than Kunesh... and I beat the shit out of him! Looks like training has paid off!
It paid off so well that the next day I went and found Kunesh. He was begging in the town square. I threatened him for the money that he still owed and he, considering the last outcome, challenged me. It was SO satisfying leaving him in a broken, bloody heap... begging at my feet. I had managed to turn a corner. Suddenly fighting was not all that intimidating. Later that day I defeated Bernard in a match (axes) and held my own in swordsmanship!
I'm pretty good now. My Strength, Agility, Vitality, Warfare, and Defense are all around level 10 and my Swords sits at 8, with mace, axe, and hand-to-hand all around 6. I can hold my own now, as a fighter, and my stealth is high enough that I can slip into a bandit camp, undetected, and stealth kill the leader without getting caught. I can bring down roe deer and rabbits on the run, even though I could still use a lot of work on that reticule-less aim.
In short, the game is really opening up. Kingdom Come makes you work for it. The game is unforgivingly hard in the beginning, but when you hit the point I'm at the feeling of accomplishment makes it all worthwhile.
Looks like I'm ready for that battle.
Oh, and Theresa and I? I managed to successfully court her and was rewarded with the most graphic sex scene I've ever had in a main stream video game! (this image is severely cropped) We're talking about marriage now!
That sex scene just gave me my first video game boner. |
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Post by Uesugi-dono on Oct 5, 2019 18:54:07 GMT
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Post by kungfubunny9876 on Oct 5, 2019 19:01:38 GMT
Curiosity compelled me, so I looked it up on Youtube. Actually puts the Witcher sex scenes to shame. |
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Post by Uesugi-dono on Oct 5, 2019 19:03:10 GMT
Curiosity compelled me, so I looked it up on Youtube. Actually puts the Witcher sex scenes to shame. Yep, sure does! |
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Post by kungfubunny9876 on Oct 6, 2019 2:56:36 GMT
Curiosity compelled me, so I looked it up on Youtube. Actually puts the Witcher sex scenes to shame. Yep, sure does! Assassin's Creed Odyssey would have been far more interesting...... I love it when a game isn't afraid to push that envelope. When it comes to Mature rated stuff, I like a little sex with my violence. |
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