Post by Uesugi-dono on Jan 30, 2018 17:31:53 GMT
No, no, this is not my second repost of my classic blog series...
... yet.
First I wanted to talk about something in a Kotaku review of the forthcoming Shadow of the Colossus remake. Maybe it needs to be said: spoilers follow.
Then I'll repost that series.
So the review in question, which was not bad by the standards at Kotaku, contained this line of thinking:
Shadow of the Colossus’s story begins with you believing that you are a brave, gentle boy who wants to save the girl he loves, who is dead. That’s why he carries her body through these desolate lands, to the shrine that he believes can bring her back to life if he undergoes a series of trials.
As the game goes on, maybe you start to feel not so great about what you’re seeing transpire. These colossi don’t seem to be hurting anyone; in fact, many of them are thoroughly uninterested in you and seem only to be acting in self-defense. And there seems to be an ever-present sense of doom pervading the game. It all seems sad, not triumphant.
Indeed, at the end you learn a more plausible interpretation of the events on screen, which is that you are playing as a thoughtless little shit murdering 16 beautiful peaceful creatures to, against all good sense and verbal warnings, release a powerful demon on the earth who promises to bring your girlfriend back to life, but also kills you and wants to kill more people besides.
When I started playing this game in 2005, I believed in the essential goodness, in the pure-heartedness, of the protagonist. I believed that what we were doing in games was the right thing to do, that the moral calculus had already been worked out and we didn’t really need to consider that. Shadow of the Colossus gave us a game that appeared to begin as a hero’s journey, but slowly revealed itself to be a tragic tale of self-destruction in which we were complicit.
This is where his vision and his fundamentally differ. "You are playing as a thoughtless little shit murdering 16 beautiful peaceful creatures to, against all good sense and verbal warnings, release a powerful demon on the earth who promises to bring your girlfriend back to life, but also kills you and wants to kill more people besides" he says.
My vision is a bit more nuanced...
What have I done?
My whole life I've followed commands. My whole life I've served; my village, Lord Emon... from childhood I trained to be a warrior, to defend and protect.
So why couldn't I protect her?
She was innocent and pure; a maiden beyond reproach. With raven hair and skin of milky pearl... whose eyes lit a fire in my heart; the all-consuming flame that drove me to love her, to protect her.
To fail her.
Why didn't I resist? Whatever Lord Emon saw, it was wrong! What curse could be laid on someone so pure? When the command was given I wasn't with the other warriors to take her. Did Emon know about us, about my feelings?
I should have been there.
I was restrained when they returned to the village but I could hear her cries as they murdered her; my brothers, my people, my lord... Emon counseled me later, told me that it was for the good of the village. That Mono's cursed fate would somehow lead our people to suffering and calamity. I listened to him quietly, but inside my heart raged. Emon studied me carefully, looking for any signs of rebellion, but had I not always been a faithful servant? I, foremost among my brothers, had learned the chant. I knew our history, even the Forbidden Chant that Emon had taught to his chosen successor as I stood guard outside of the temple.
I knew the legend.
That is why I crept into the Reliquary that night and stole the Ancient Sword. It is why I turned loose the herds and took the body of my beloved Mono and, as quietly as I could, stole away from the village with Agro. Those people, who could do such a horrid thing to such beautiful innocence, they were mine no longer. I could rely on none but Agro, as she alone could aid me now. The finest mare in all the land, she helped me put the distance I needed between us and Emon. I knew my time was limited; soon my brethren would track down their steeds and give chase for Emon would know immediately what I meant to do.
It is said that if one should wish it one can bring back the souls of the dead...
But to trespass upon that land is strictly forbidden...
What have I done?
We traveled through the day and through the night. I clutched my beloved's body to my breast and we traveled with little rest. The terrain became more and more treacherous but I trusted in the sure-footing of Agro. Bathed in the clouded light of the moon we made our way along winding cliff-side trails as we pushed onwards towards our goal.
Towards the Forbidden Land.
Pressing on through tangled forests older than mankind we rode into daylight once more. The rain poured in that morning, as if to mourn the loss of such innocent life. We sought shelter only briefly for I knew that once Emon discovered my theft he and the warriors would be hard on our trail.
In pursuit of the traitor.
Finally I came upon a massive edifice; a great wall whose center was dominated by a structure that loomed hundreds of feet in the air and bound a narrow passage. Whatever people could build such a monolith were long since vanished and what stood before us now was but a ruin; abandoned.
Or forsaken.
What lay beyond staggered the mind. A bridge, devoid of banister or balustrade, spanning a thousand feet easily and soaring hundreds of feet above a vast and empty landscape below. At its far end stood what could only be described as a ziggurat; a building far larger than any I'd ever imagined. Again I wondered at what manner of people possessed the craft to construct such wonders.
Or what could possess them to renounce it.
A great sealed doorway barred our entrance, but as we drew close it rumbled, shaking loose bits of mortar as it lifted; leaving a darkened passage before us. It was as if some unseen power beckoned us inside and, despite the thunder of my beating heart, I urged Agro onwards, over her protests.
This could be the last chance to turn back.
Inside stairs descended into the abyss, wide enough for Agro to navigate with ease. Soon after we were in the door began to seal behind us. My heart was filled with panic for but a moment; was this not what I came for? I had crossed the threshold into the Forbidden Land into what must be the citadel known to the legend as the Shrine of Worship.
Now there was no turning back.
Then the Shrine opened into a great architecture; a cavernous room bordered by eight gargantuan statues on either side with a canopied altar at the end and a great, circular opening above the central chamber flooded with light. I examined the statues as I passed by; hideous monuments of grotesque behemoths.
The guardians of this place?
I reined Agro in the circle of light and dismounted, taking the body of my beloved in my arms as I ascended the stairs to the altar. It was bathed in brilliant sunlight coming in from the temple's open façade. I paused for a moment, absorbing the gravity of what I was about to do, and then as reverently as I could I placed the body of Mono upon the altar and pulled the cloak from her still form. Loved by the sun; she laid immaculate in her sacrificial dress, appearing now to be merely sleeping instead of locked in Death's cold embrace.
It is said that if one should wish it...
I gazed upon her, my mind awhirl in memory, and I longed for her soul to return. I had come all this way, an apostate in a forbidden land, but what now must I do? What power had this place, after all? I knew the legend, I knew the sword was the key, and I knew the name; the forbidden name of the entity that supposedly occupied this place. Should I call out to it? Should I pray?
The hairs raised on the back of my neck.
Agro sensed them before I did. Five beings, seemingly composed only of living shadow, had emerged from the very floor and now ambled towards us. I turned to face them fully and I drew the sword. It's darkened surface was framed by its impossibly sharp silver edge and, as I extended the Ancient Sword, it glimmered with light, almost as if it drew the sun's radiance to it. As soon as they formed the shadows melded away, dissolving before the presence of the sword. But then I felt something; a pressure upon my ears, like a low reverberation ensconced beyond my ability to hear.
And then, in dual masculine and feminine voices, it spoke.
Hmm? Thou possesses the Ancient Sword? So thou art mortal...
What have I done?
"Are you Dormin?" I asked, almost as a challenge. My heart pounded, for the entity's voice was everywhere at once, permeating every aspect of my essence. However, despite my inner quailing, I kept my voice level; as a warrior. "I was told that at this place at the end of the world there exists a being who can control the souls of the dead." Although moments passed as an eternity, finally the dual-voice thundered once more all around me.
Thou art correct... We are the One known as Dormin...
It's real...
I turned my gaze back upon my beloved's still form. Hesitation formed at the realization that Dormin was real; that the legend was real, but it was soon engulfed in the memory of her radiant smile, her ethereal laugh, and the lucid mischief that often gleamed in her eyes. "She was sacrificed for she had a cursed fate. Please, I need you to bring back her soul."
I need it.
Nausea rose in me like waves crashing against the rocks as the Being known as Dormin laughed; a sickening resonance that rocked my fortitude to its core.
That maiden's soul? Souls that are once lost cannot be reclaimed... is that not the Law of Mortals?
But I really need it...
With that sword, however, it may not be impossible...
"Really?" I caught myself asking; like a callow child caught in the guile of an unscruplous uncle. I regained my composure quickly but the seed of longing had already been planted.
I need her.
That is, of course, if thou manage to accomplish what We asketh.
"What do I have to do?" There was no longer a hint of hesitation in my soul. The legend was real. Dormin was real, and It had the power to bring Mono back from the jaws of an unjust death.
Behold the idols that stand along the wall... thou art to destroy them all.
The statues that lined the shrine; sixteen of them in total. Each was twenty feet or more in height and made of solid stone.
But those idols cannot be destroyed by the mere hands of a mortal.
"Then what am I to do?" I asked with determination. I no longer doubted the entity known as Dormin, but my determination was such that I had little patience for riddles.
It doesn't matter...
In this land there exist colossi that are the incarnations of those idols. If thou defeat those colossi... the idols shall fall.
"I understand." Colossi; meaning giants. I had the ancient sword, it was obviously powerful. Was I not a warrior? No matter how formidible; if slaying these giants meant I could hold her once again in my arms...
But heed this: the price you pay may be heavy indeed.
"It doesn't matter."
Nothing else matters.
Very well... Raise thy sword by the light... and head to the place where the sword's light gathers... there, thou shalt find the colossi thou art to defeat.
And then It was gone, and I was alone again in that place with only the body of the woman I loved. To defeat sixteen giants, is that possible in the short time before Emon finds where I've gone? This land appears to be vast and trackless, surely it would take me a lengthy measure to track and slay sixteen so-called colossi.
Can I do this, alone?
A snort reminded me that I am not alone. Agro approached and stood beside me as we gazed down at Mono. She nuzzled me gently and I returned the affection. 'There is no other in this world I would rather have beside me,' I thought. Then, with no words needed, I pulled myself up into her saddle and guided her out into the glaring sunlight. I raised the Ancient Sword and, just as Dormin had said, the light gathered and sent a beam south.
Towards the first Colossi, towards my enemy,
Towards Hope...
What have I done?
The severity of my situation weighed heavy on my mind as I guided Agro southwards towards my first foe. Not only had I broken my vow, not only had I stolen our village's relic and entered the Forbidden Land, but I'd made a deal with Dormin.
He's real...
The Chant says that Dormin is a primordial evil spirit, but another legend says that he was once a chief who gained knowledge of a great power and used to to become a god. No matter which version, Dormin was a menace to our people and for that reason was sealed away in this forbidden place.
And I plan to free It,
As we moved south I noticed a fruit-bearing tree. My stomach rumbled. I had not eaten since before Mono's murder. With my bow I struck some of this strange produce from its boughs. Upon closer examination it was an alien fruit, whose kind I had never seen before. The husk was thick but the flesh inside was tender and moist. Its taste I found to be strangely intoxicating; a mixture of sweetness blended with a texture not unlike veal, all bound within a flavor that I cannot describe. After eating my fill I felt strangely vigorous; stronger... faster. I stripped the tree of its remaining drupe and with each bite I felt stronger, healthier.
Forbidden Fruit from a Forbidden Land...
The light from the sword led me directly south to a small grotto in an otherwise impenetrable cliff-face. Once this had been adorned with some structures, but they had eons ago fallen to ruin. I dismounted and lifted the sword once more. Here the light was weak; the grotto cloaked in shadow, but it pointed up. Steeling my nerve I grasped onto nearby vines and began to climb.
What awaits me above?
The path was treacherous but my determination drove me onwards. My thoughts, often mired by trepidation for what sins I may be committing, were pushed aside. I had committed to this course; I would have Mono back... at any cost. If that meant making deals with Dormin, slaying giants, none of it mattered. Even if it cost me my life I would rather die knowing she was safe than live without her. Such were my thoughts as I reached the apex of the cliff and began to move out from behind a boulder, such were my thoughts when I was nearly thrown off the cliff by the incredible tremor that shook the Earth.
That is no mere giant!
The beast, if it could be called that, lumbered by me without notice; each step impacting like boulders raining from the sky. It had the form reminiscent of bovine and man melded in unholy union and strode along more like moving architecture than a living thing. Its body appeared a fusion of stone and pallid gray flesh covered in shaggy hair. As I watched it walk away I felt a sense of purpose come over me. If Mono was to live then this beast must die. I did not know how, but I had to kill it. Without further thought I let fly a shrill whistle... and the Colossus turned.
What am I doing??
It stalked towards me, the Earth shaking with every step the seventy-foot tall monster took. Somehow I found the courage to charge it. The Colossus halted and moved to strike me with the great club it carried. I ran to my right, throwing myself into a headlong roll just as the beast's thunderous club smashed into the ground, throwing dirt and rocks high into the air and leaving a crater where I had so recently stood. I ran around the monster. It's legs were the girth of ancient tree trunks and ended in cloven hooves. One leg was bound in stone, worn like armor, but the other was exposed; its armor long since broken away. Despite the terror screaming in my mind for me to flee I ran straight at this colossal leg and I leapt onto it, grabbing handfuls of it coarse, malodorous hair.
Hold up thy sword to reflect the light onto the colossus. Its vitals shall be revealed.
Dormin's dual-voice flooded my mind as I clung to the creature's hair. Suddenly the monster violently shook its leg, trying to throw me. I hung on in desperation, my brain jostled by the incredible force. As soon as it stopped I pulled the Ancient Sword free from its scabbard and clutched it in my right hand but then I paused. A tell-tale glow emanated from the creature's calf. Without hesitation I stabbed the sword into the mark twice in rapid succession. Where it was pierced the thing's flesh poured what I can only describe as liquid shadow but, more importantly, the bull-like colossus dropped to one knee.
I could hurt it, I could make it bleed.
From this vantage I could leap up and grab onto the stone that wrapped around its thigh and from there seize fistfuls of hair around the beast's rear. I hauled myself upwards as quickly as I could until I finally came to the ledge of what could only be called a platform. This place provided some much needed rest; allowing me to pause and regain my stamina some twenty feet above the ground. The colossus lumbered on, seeming unaware of where I'd gone. Whatever wound I'd inflicted on its leg seemed to have healed for now it strode ahead at its former pace.
This isn't over...
There was nowhere to go but up, so climb I did. The colossi's back was heavily furred and spines of stone erupted along its center, further lending to the monstrosity's statue-like form. I ran along its hunched back when suddenly it sensed me once more and shook its entire body; trying to throw me from its incredible height. I crouched down and clung tight, stabbing the sword into its back. It bled, but only a tiny amount and in moments the wound was gone.
How do I kill this thing?
Dormin's counsel came back to my mind and when the beast stopped moving I held the Ancient Sword aloft and noticed the tell-tale blue-green glow I'd seen before coming from the crown of the colossus. My mind set with conviction I raced up the beast's back. Just then it shook itself anew and I was thrown high into the air. I sailed towards its head and, as much out of desperation as intent, I angled the sword downwards and stabbed upon my landing with all my might, sinking it nearly up to the hilt. Right into the bluish glow of something incredibly familiar.
Is that the Sacred Sigil?
It should be familiar; it was the sign of our people. The Sacred Sigil, worn by our shaman and our warriors. I bore the same symbol on my tabard! I struggled to yank the sword free from the skull of the beast when suddenly it rocked its head in pain. I barely found purchase in time, my hand gripping at the creature's rocky brow. There I hung, before its great, cerulean eye. For a single moment we looked at each other; my own eyes failing to find any emotion in that of the colossus.
It's a construct... this thing was created and somehow given artificial life.
The moment passed quickly as the beast paused, giving me time to hoist myself back onto its head. It must have sensed my intent for it began to shake violently once more. I clung to its rank hair for all I was worth, my grip near failing. Then it ceased its struggle; perhaps to rest, and I had my chance...
For Mono... for my True Love...
With all my strength I reared back and thrust the Ancient Sword deep into the brain of the colossus. It howled and shook once more, wearing me to near exhaustion, but I struck again it went rigid, then limp. With all the acceleration of a free-fall we crashed to the ground together. I rolled free, letting the colossus break my fall, and I stood once more, gazing upon my fallen prey. From the wounds in its head the liquid shadow poured forth, racing across the colossi's form like shadows race beneath clouds. Then I noticed the tendrils; formed of pure blackness bound in cerulean light they snaked into the sky. I watched them curiously as they whirled above, then they curved and angled towards me. Like lightning, they struck...
The pain... like I'm drowning inside!!
My lungs ached, which spread to my muscles, even my heart felt like it stopped. I opened my mouth to scream and only cold, black vapor emanated. My vision darkened and went black, my eyes feeling like they were poured full of some viscous liquid... and then I knew no more.
Blackness... then light, like a white sun... a sound... a sharp intake of breath... Mono??
Oh, gods...
What have I done?
If you've read through all this (again... for the 3rd time for some of you) first of all: thank you. But where the reviewer saw someone acting selfishly, maybe even evilly, I saw love. True love. The kind of love you give your life for. The kind of love (and here comes a spoiler for The Last of Us) that Joel displayed for Ellie when he happily and without regret shot those doctors that were going to kill Ellie in order to save humanity. This is exactly how Wander feels for Mono.
"She was sacrificed," he said, "for she had a cursed fate." But what warrior would throw it all away just for a sacrifice? Even one he felt was innocent? No, Wander loved Mono. What happened to her, he felt, was an injustice. Selflessly he gave his life for her to life. Selflessly he made a deal with a goddamn devil to give her a chance to live.
If he was selfish he would have wanted to be with her. Not to lay down his life for her. Thoughtless? I propose that Wander knew exactly what he was doing. Lord Emon murdered his love. His love was strong enough to compel him to lay down his life for her. So what if it meant releasing Dormin? Maybe Dormin wasn't as bad as he had always been taught; after all Dormin offers Life, Lord Emon murders young girls based on superstition.
Shadow of the Colossus is a story about Love. About the Power of Love. About the Sacrifice of Love.
Put yourself in his place. Is there anyone you love so much that you would rather die that they may live? Even if it meant killing other people? Even if it meant killing everyone?
If you said no I wonder if you have ever felt True Love. Since love is often subjective people may experience different feelings but Wander's journey spoke to me.
Maybe this is the Love that Dare Not Speak its Name. But isn't it the most romantic of love?
Isn't this really the love we all dreamed of? To have a love so powerful that we truly become selfless?
... yet.
First I wanted to talk about something in a Kotaku review of the forthcoming Shadow of the Colossus remake. Maybe it needs to be said: spoilers follow.
Then I'll repost that series.
So the review in question, which was not bad by the standards at Kotaku, contained this line of thinking:
Shadow of the Colossus’s story begins with you believing that you are a brave, gentle boy who wants to save the girl he loves, who is dead. That’s why he carries her body through these desolate lands, to the shrine that he believes can bring her back to life if he undergoes a series of trials.
As the game goes on, maybe you start to feel not so great about what you’re seeing transpire. These colossi don’t seem to be hurting anyone; in fact, many of them are thoroughly uninterested in you and seem only to be acting in self-defense. And there seems to be an ever-present sense of doom pervading the game. It all seems sad, not triumphant.
Indeed, at the end you learn a more plausible interpretation of the events on screen, which is that you are playing as a thoughtless little shit murdering 16 beautiful peaceful creatures to, against all good sense and verbal warnings, release a powerful demon on the earth who promises to bring your girlfriend back to life, but also kills you and wants to kill more people besides.
When I started playing this game in 2005, I believed in the essential goodness, in the pure-heartedness, of the protagonist. I believed that what we were doing in games was the right thing to do, that the moral calculus had already been worked out and we didn’t really need to consider that. Shadow of the Colossus gave us a game that appeared to begin as a hero’s journey, but slowly revealed itself to be a tragic tale of self-destruction in which we were complicit.
This is where his vision and his fundamentally differ. "You are playing as a thoughtless little shit murdering 16 beautiful peaceful creatures to, against all good sense and verbal warnings, release a powerful demon on the earth who promises to bring your girlfriend back to life, but also kills you and wants to kill more people besides" he says.
My vision is a bit more nuanced...
What have I done?
My whole life I've followed commands. My whole life I've served; my village, Lord Emon... from childhood I trained to be a warrior, to defend and protect.
So why couldn't I protect her?
She was innocent and pure; a maiden beyond reproach. With raven hair and skin of milky pearl... whose eyes lit a fire in my heart; the all-consuming flame that drove me to love her, to protect her.
To fail her.
Why didn't I resist? Whatever Lord Emon saw, it was wrong! What curse could be laid on someone so pure? When the command was given I wasn't with the other warriors to take her. Did Emon know about us, about my feelings?
I should have been there.
I was restrained when they returned to the village but I could hear her cries as they murdered her; my brothers, my people, my lord... Emon counseled me later, told me that it was for the good of the village. That Mono's cursed fate would somehow lead our people to suffering and calamity. I listened to him quietly, but inside my heart raged. Emon studied me carefully, looking for any signs of rebellion, but had I not always been a faithful servant? I, foremost among my brothers, had learned the chant. I knew our history, even the Forbidden Chant that Emon had taught to his chosen successor as I stood guard outside of the temple.
I knew the legend.
That is why I crept into the Reliquary that night and stole the Ancient Sword. It is why I turned loose the herds and took the body of my beloved Mono and, as quietly as I could, stole away from the village with Agro. Those people, who could do such a horrid thing to such beautiful innocence, they were mine no longer. I could rely on none but Agro, as she alone could aid me now. The finest mare in all the land, she helped me put the distance I needed between us and Emon. I knew my time was limited; soon my brethren would track down their steeds and give chase for Emon would know immediately what I meant to do.
It is said that if one should wish it one can bring back the souls of the dead...
But to trespass upon that land is strictly forbidden...
What have I done?
We traveled through the day and through the night. I clutched my beloved's body to my breast and we traveled with little rest. The terrain became more and more treacherous but I trusted in the sure-footing of Agro. Bathed in the clouded light of the moon we made our way along winding cliff-side trails as we pushed onwards towards our goal.
Towards the Forbidden Land.
Pressing on through tangled forests older than mankind we rode into daylight once more. The rain poured in that morning, as if to mourn the loss of such innocent life. We sought shelter only briefly for I knew that once Emon discovered my theft he and the warriors would be hard on our trail.
In pursuit of the traitor.
Finally I came upon a massive edifice; a great wall whose center was dominated by a structure that loomed hundreds of feet in the air and bound a narrow passage. Whatever people could build such a monolith were long since vanished and what stood before us now was but a ruin; abandoned.
Or forsaken.
What lay beyond staggered the mind. A bridge, devoid of banister or balustrade, spanning a thousand feet easily and soaring hundreds of feet above a vast and empty landscape below. At its far end stood what could only be described as a ziggurat; a building far larger than any I'd ever imagined. Again I wondered at what manner of people possessed the craft to construct such wonders.
Or what could possess them to renounce it.
A great sealed doorway barred our entrance, but as we drew close it rumbled, shaking loose bits of mortar as it lifted; leaving a darkened passage before us. It was as if some unseen power beckoned us inside and, despite the thunder of my beating heart, I urged Agro onwards, over her protests.
This could be the last chance to turn back.
Inside stairs descended into the abyss, wide enough for Agro to navigate with ease. Soon after we were in the door began to seal behind us. My heart was filled with panic for but a moment; was this not what I came for? I had crossed the threshold into the Forbidden Land into what must be the citadel known to the legend as the Shrine of Worship.
Now there was no turning back.
Then the Shrine opened into a great architecture; a cavernous room bordered by eight gargantuan statues on either side with a canopied altar at the end and a great, circular opening above the central chamber flooded with light. I examined the statues as I passed by; hideous monuments of grotesque behemoths.
The guardians of this place?
I reined Agro in the circle of light and dismounted, taking the body of my beloved in my arms as I ascended the stairs to the altar. It was bathed in brilliant sunlight coming in from the temple's open façade. I paused for a moment, absorbing the gravity of what I was about to do, and then as reverently as I could I placed the body of Mono upon the altar and pulled the cloak from her still form. Loved by the sun; she laid immaculate in her sacrificial dress, appearing now to be merely sleeping instead of locked in Death's cold embrace.
It is said that if one should wish it...
I gazed upon her, my mind awhirl in memory, and I longed for her soul to return. I had come all this way, an apostate in a forbidden land, but what now must I do? What power had this place, after all? I knew the legend, I knew the sword was the key, and I knew the name; the forbidden name of the entity that supposedly occupied this place. Should I call out to it? Should I pray?
The hairs raised on the back of my neck.
Agro sensed them before I did. Five beings, seemingly composed only of living shadow, had emerged from the very floor and now ambled towards us. I turned to face them fully and I drew the sword. It's darkened surface was framed by its impossibly sharp silver edge and, as I extended the Ancient Sword, it glimmered with light, almost as if it drew the sun's radiance to it. As soon as they formed the shadows melded away, dissolving before the presence of the sword. But then I felt something; a pressure upon my ears, like a low reverberation ensconced beyond my ability to hear.
And then, in dual masculine and feminine voices, it spoke.
Hmm? Thou possesses the Ancient Sword? So thou art mortal...
What have I done?
"Are you Dormin?" I asked, almost as a challenge. My heart pounded, for the entity's voice was everywhere at once, permeating every aspect of my essence. However, despite my inner quailing, I kept my voice level; as a warrior. "I was told that at this place at the end of the world there exists a being who can control the souls of the dead." Although moments passed as an eternity, finally the dual-voice thundered once more all around me.
Thou art correct... We are the One known as Dormin...
It's real...
I turned my gaze back upon my beloved's still form. Hesitation formed at the realization that Dormin was real; that the legend was real, but it was soon engulfed in the memory of her radiant smile, her ethereal laugh, and the lucid mischief that often gleamed in her eyes. "She was sacrificed for she had a cursed fate. Please, I need you to bring back her soul."
I need it.
Nausea rose in me like waves crashing against the rocks as the Being known as Dormin laughed; a sickening resonance that rocked my fortitude to its core.
That maiden's soul? Souls that are once lost cannot be reclaimed... is that not the Law of Mortals?
But I really need it...
With that sword, however, it may not be impossible...
"Really?" I caught myself asking; like a callow child caught in the guile of an unscruplous uncle. I regained my composure quickly but the seed of longing had already been planted.
I need her.
That is, of course, if thou manage to accomplish what We asketh.
"What do I have to do?" There was no longer a hint of hesitation in my soul. The legend was real. Dormin was real, and It had the power to bring Mono back from the jaws of an unjust death.
Behold the idols that stand along the wall... thou art to destroy them all.
The statues that lined the shrine; sixteen of them in total. Each was twenty feet or more in height and made of solid stone.
But those idols cannot be destroyed by the mere hands of a mortal.
"Then what am I to do?" I asked with determination. I no longer doubted the entity known as Dormin, but my determination was such that I had little patience for riddles.
It doesn't matter...
In this land there exist colossi that are the incarnations of those idols. If thou defeat those colossi... the idols shall fall.
"I understand." Colossi; meaning giants. I had the ancient sword, it was obviously powerful. Was I not a warrior? No matter how formidible; if slaying these giants meant I could hold her once again in my arms...
But heed this: the price you pay may be heavy indeed.
"It doesn't matter."
Nothing else matters.
Very well... Raise thy sword by the light... and head to the place where the sword's light gathers... there, thou shalt find the colossi thou art to defeat.
And then It was gone, and I was alone again in that place with only the body of the woman I loved. To defeat sixteen giants, is that possible in the short time before Emon finds where I've gone? This land appears to be vast and trackless, surely it would take me a lengthy measure to track and slay sixteen so-called colossi.
Can I do this, alone?
A snort reminded me that I am not alone. Agro approached and stood beside me as we gazed down at Mono. She nuzzled me gently and I returned the affection. 'There is no other in this world I would rather have beside me,' I thought. Then, with no words needed, I pulled myself up into her saddle and guided her out into the glaring sunlight. I raised the Ancient Sword and, just as Dormin had said, the light gathered and sent a beam south.
Towards the first Colossi, towards my enemy,
Towards Hope...
What have I done?
The severity of my situation weighed heavy on my mind as I guided Agro southwards towards my first foe. Not only had I broken my vow, not only had I stolen our village's relic and entered the Forbidden Land, but I'd made a deal with Dormin.
He's real...
The Chant says that Dormin is a primordial evil spirit, but another legend says that he was once a chief who gained knowledge of a great power and used to to become a god. No matter which version, Dormin was a menace to our people and for that reason was sealed away in this forbidden place.
And I plan to free It,
As we moved south I noticed a fruit-bearing tree. My stomach rumbled. I had not eaten since before Mono's murder. With my bow I struck some of this strange produce from its boughs. Upon closer examination it was an alien fruit, whose kind I had never seen before. The husk was thick but the flesh inside was tender and moist. Its taste I found to be strangely intoxicating; a mixture of sweetness blended with a texture not unlike veal, all bound within a flavor that I cannot describe. After eating my fill I felt strangely vigorous; stronger... faster. I stripped the tree of its remaining drupe and with each bite I felt stronger, healthier.
Forbidden Fruit from a Forbidden Land...
The light from the sword led me directly south to a small grotto in an otherwise impenetrable cliff-face. Once this had been adorned with some structures, but they had eons ago fallen to ruin. I dismounted and lifted the sword once more. Here the light was weak; the grotto cloaked in shadow, but it pointed up. Steeling my nerve I grasped onto nearby vines and began to climb.
What awaits me above?
The path was treacherous but my determination drove me onwards. My thoughts, often mired by trepidation for what sins I may be committing, were pushed aside. I had committed to this course; I would have Mono back... at any cost. If that meant making deals with Dormin, slaying giants, none of it mattered. Even if it cost me my life I would rather die knowing she was safe than live without her. Such were my thoughts as I reached the apex of the cliff and began to move out from behind a boulder, such were my thoughts when I was nearly thrown off the cliff by the incredible tremor that shook the Earth.
That is no mere giant!
The beast, if it could be called that, lumbered by me without notice; each step impacting like boulders raining from the sky. It had the form reminiscent of bovine and man melded in unholy union and strode along more like moving architecture than a living thing. Its body appeared a fusion of stone and pallid gray flesh covered in shaggy hair. As I watched it walk away I felt a sense of purpose come over me. If Mono was to live then this beast must die. I did not know how, but I had to kill it. Without further thought I let fly a shrill whistle... and the Colossus turned.
What am I doing??
It stalked towards me, the Earth shaking with every step the seventy-foot tall monster took. Somehow I found the courage to charge it. The Colossus halted and moved to strike me with the great club it carried. I ran to my right, throwing myself into a headlong roll just as the beast's thunderous club smashed into the ground, throwing dirt and rocks high into the air and leaving a crater where I had so recently stood. I ran around the monster. It's legs were the girth of ancient tree trunks and ended in cloven hooves. One leg was bound in stone, worn like armor, but the other was exposed; its armor long since broken away. Despite the terror screaming in my mind for me to flee I ran straight at this colossal leg and I leapt onto it, grabbing handfuls of it coarse, malodorous hair.
Hold up thy sword to reflect the light onto the colossus. Its vitals shall be revealed.
Dormin's dual-voice flooded my mind as I clung to the creature's hair. Suddenly the monster violently shook its leg, trying to throw me. I hung on in desperation, my brain jostled by the incredible force. As soon as it stopped I pulled the Ancient Sword free from its scabbard and clutched it in my right hand but then I paused. A tell-tale glow emanated from the creature's calf. Without hesitation I stabbed the sword into the mark twice in rapid succession. Where it was pierced the thing's flesh poured what I can only describe as liquid shadow but, more importantly, the bull-like colossus dropped to one knee.
I could hurt it, I could make it bleed.
From this vantage I could leap up and grab onto the stone that wrapped around its thigh and from there seize fistfuls of hair around the beast's rear. I hauled myself upwards as quickly as I could until I finally came to the ledge of what could only be called a platform. This place provided some much needed rest; allowing me to pause and regain my stamina some twenty feet above the ground. The colossus lumbered on, seeming unaware of where I'd gone. Whatever wound I'd inflicted on its leg seemed to have healed for now it strode ahead at its former pace.
This isn't over...
There was nowhere to go but up, so climb I did. The colossi's back was heavily furred and spines of stone erupted along its center, further lending to the monstrosity's statue-like form. I ran along its hunched back when suddenly it sensed me once more and shook its entire body; trying to throw me from its incredible height. I crouched down and clung tight, stabbing the sword into its back. It bled, but only a tiny amount and in moments the wound was gone.
How do I kill this thing?
Dormin's counsel came back to my mind and when the beast stopped moving I held the Ancient Sword aloft and noticed the tell-tale blue-green glow I'd seen before coming from the crown of the colossus. My mind set with conviction I raced up the beast's back. Just then it shook itself anew and I was thrown high into the air. I sailed towards its head and, as much out of desperation as intent, I angled the sword downwards and stabbed upon my landing with all my might, sinking it nearly up to the hilt. Right into the bluish glow of something incredibly familiar.
Is that the Sacred Sigil?
It should be familiar; it was the sign of our people. The Sacred Sigil, worn by our shaman and our warriors. I bore the same symbol on my tabard! I struggled to yank the sword free from the skull of the beast when suddenly it rocked its head in pain. I barely found purchase in time, my hand gripping at the creature's rocky brow. There I hung, before its great, cerulean eye. For a single moment we looked at each other; my own eyes failing to find any emotion in that of the colossus.
It's a construct... this thing was created and somehow given artificial life.
The moment passed quickly as the beast paused, giving me time to hoist myself back onto its head. It must have sensed my intent for it began to shake violently once more. I clung to its rank hair for all I was worth, my grip near failing. Then it ceased its struggle; perhaps to rest, and I had my chance...
For Mono... for my True Love...
With all my strength I reared back and thrust the Ancient Sword deep into the brain of the colossus. It howled and shook once more, wearing me to near exhaustion, but I struck again it went rigid, then limp. With all the acceleration of a free-fall we crashed to the ground together. I rolled free, letting the colossus break my fall, and I stood once more, gazing upon my fallen prey. From the wounds in its head the liquid shadow poured forth, racing across the colossi's form like shadows race beneath clouds. Then I noticed the tendrils; formed of pure blackness bound in cerulean light they snaked into the sky. I watched them curiously as they whirled above, then they curved and angled towards me. Like lightning, they struck...
The pain... like I'm drowning inside!!
My lungs ached, which spread to my muscles, even my heart felt like it stopped. I opened my mouth to scream and only cold, black vapor emanated. My vision darkened and went black, my eyes feeling like they were poured full of some viscous liquid... and then I knew no more.
Blackness... then light, like a white sun... a sound... a sharp intake of breath... Mono??
Oh, gods...
What have I done?
If you've read through all this (again... for the 3rd time for some of you) first of all: thank you. But where the reviewer saw someone acting selfishly, maybe even evilly, I saw love. True love. The kind of love you give your life for. The kind of love (and here comes a spoiler for The Last of Us) that Joel displayed for Ellie when he happily and without regret shot those doctors that were going to kill Ellie in order to save humanity. This is exactly how Wander feels for Mono.
"She was sacrificed," he said, "for she had a cursed fate." But what warrior would throw it all away just for a sacrifice? Even one he felt was innocent? No, Wander loved Mono. What happened to her, he felt, was an injustice. Selflessly he gave his life for her to life. Selflessly he made a deal with a goddamn devil to give her a chance to live.
If he was selfish he would have wanted to be with her. Not to lay down his life for her. Thoughtless? I propose that Wander knew exactly what he was doing. Lord Emon murdered his love. His love was strong enough to compel him to lay down his life for her. So what if it meant releasing Dormin? Maybe Dormin wasn't as bad as he had always been taught; after all Dormin offers Life, Lord Emon murders young girls based on superstition.
Shadow of the Colossus is a story about Love. About the Power of Love. About the Sacrifice of Love.
Put yourself in his place. Is there anyone you love so much that you would rather die that they may live? Even if it meant killing other people? Even if it meant killing everyone?
If you said no I wonder if you have ever felt True Love. Since love is often subjective people may experience different feelings but Wander's journey spoke to me.
Maybe this is the Love that Dare Not Speak its Name. But isn't it the most romantic of love?
Isn't this really the love we all dreamed of? To have a love so powerful that we truly become selfless?
