Life sucks

It always amuses me when I see people on the internet talk about how they 'used' to be depressed.  In my experience depression is just something you live with.  Some days its worse, some days its better, but its just always there; a little demon lurking in the shadows of your being, reminding you how worthless you are on a constant basis.  At one point I named mine!  I considered it a fractured little multiple personality, the constant doubt and negativity that always tried to drag me down.

Giving my depression a proper name helped me to deal with some of its dark temptations.  Even today, when I wake up sometimes I just breathe the word "death" as if by saying it I might just collapse and not have to do all this anymore.  But I realize that's my demon.  That's the depression that I live with, even in happy times, just trying to shit on my day.

Losing your job really sucks.  Losing a friend is exponentially worse.  I am so sorry for your loss.  If we were closer (or even on the same continent!) I'd feel like I could do more for you.  As it stands though I am here digitally... and hey, it's my friday.  I'll be gaming in about 13 hours... if you can't sleep.  Even if you can't find a headset and I don't get to hear that cute Russian accent we could try to shareplay Helldivers.  HD doesn't require a lot of voice communication, it has quick messages (similar to, but much more effective than FH) and functions as the best Co-op game I've ever played.  If I remember correctly there's a few hiccups to getting it started w/o both people having the game but we can try.  The netcode was strong enough that Katzie and I had a flawless experience despite him being in Perth and me being in the SE US.  That or we could try any number of other games.  I'm here if you need me.

This will sound like a shameless plug, but when I'm depressed and don't feel like doing anything sometimes reading helps.  I sent you a book, didn't I? 

Also I'm available through the day to assist with your Samurai project.

Hang in there, dear.  I know you're running with the Weebs now but we're Vikings at heart.  Depression is a challenge but when have we ever backed down from those?  You and I led hordes against salty, feckless Tincels... we did it despite Ubi's efforts to stop us.  The memories of these communities is shorter than their dicks but there are still those who remember how LEGENDARY we are.